Caesar Salad
November, 2007
Updated April, 2010
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen With Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
“This is my “signature” dish. It’s the recipe that I’m most proud of. Jim loves this dish and Caesar salad has become a staple in our regular weekly diet. For a complete meal, we usually toss in slices of sautéed chicken breasts, spiced with jerk seasoning.
I sincerely hope you enjoy it!”
Following are ESTIMATED proportions and basic guidelines. I’m too lazy to measure when I cook, and the flavor of olive oils, vinegars, and anchovies differ with every bottle and can. Adjustments will always be required, so please use your palate to correctly adjust proportions of your ingredients, according to your personal preference. The quantities below will produce 4 to 6 small side salads or 2 large entree salads. The estimated time of preparation is about 45 minutes.
1 full-size head of romaine lettuce, not prewashed and not precut
3 large (or 6 small) cloves fresh garlic
1 ½ cups virgin olive oil
1 fresh egg
2 lemons or 3 key limes
3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons wine vinegar
2 cans of flat anchovies (not with capers)
Please read special about anchovies note below*
4 oz. can grated parmesan cheese
2 oz. shredded parmesan cheese
½ teaspoon raw granulated sugar
Dash of Worcestershire sauce (opt.)
½ teaspoon of prepared mustard (opt.)
Water
2 slices of multi-grain bread
Dried thyme & basil (and any other spices that you like)
Step 1 – Prepare lettuce. This step is overlooked by most chefs, but it is VERY important for a good-tasting result.
Select a large head of romaine lettuce that looks fresh and full. Discard the ragged outer leaves. Hand rinse each leaf in cold, running water. Remove and discard the whitish-colored stalks
from the green leaves. Hand tear the leaves into large bite-sized pieces (do not use a knife), and spin the clean lettuce in a lettuce spinner or pat dry with clean towel. Put the lettuce in a bowl and squeeze the juice of one lemon (or lime) onto leaves and toss. Put the bowl uncovered in refrigerator while making dressing, or overnight (not longer). Ascetic acid in the citrus and the quick chill will make the leaves become crisp.
Step 2. Make croutons. Without fresh, homemade croutons, the rest of your Caesar salad efforts are wasted. Boxed croutons are always too hard, stale, and really boring.
Peel & chop 2 garlic cloves. In sauté pan, pour 1/8 inch olive oil. Sauté garlic until light golden brown on medium-low heat. Cut bread into ¾” cubes. Arrange bread cubes in a single layer in pan. Pan-fry cubes, flipping frequently, until croutons are brown and crisp on all sides; take care not to burn them. Sprinkle dried spices and salt liberally over croutons, sauté 2 minutes more. You can drizzle a little more olive oil on top of the croutons during while sautéing, if you like. When perfectly browned, remove the croutons from the heat; lightly sprinkle them with grated parmesan cheese. Set aside; be sure to hide your yummy croutons from crouton thieves that always appear near the stove about this time.
Step 3. Prepare dressing.
In an electric blender or food processor, blend 1 clove of garlic in ¼ cup olive oil until garlic is pureed. Add 1 can of anchovies (including oil), 1 egg, and juice of one lemon or key lime. Blend until creamy. While running the blender or processor on low speed, slowly pour in the remaining olive oil in a thin, steady stream. The sauce should thicken into a creamy texture. Add vinegars, grated parmesan cheese, sugar, worst. sauce, and mustard. Blend completely. If the dressing appears too thick, add a little bit of water to achieve desired consistency. If dressing is too tart, add more oil and/or sugar (be careful not to add too much of either). If dressing is too oily, add more vinegar.
Step 4. Toss and serve salad. (Do NOT toss salad with dressing until you are ready to serve immediately. If you toss the salad and let it sit, it will become wilted and yucky.)
In an extra large salad bowl, toss the chilled, crisp lettuce with about ½ cup of dressing, making sure each piece of lettuce becomes coated with dressing. If you like more dressing, add it carefully, tossing well with each addition. After lettuce is tossed well with dressing, add shredded parmesan cheese, toss the salad again, well. Optional – add chopped anchovies, toss again. Add croutons to top of salad. Don’t toss again. SERVE IMMEDIATELY!
Step 5. Accept compliments graciously. ☺
Note: Extra dressing lasts about 1 week in the refrigerator. Store it in a closed container or your milk will taste like anchovies!
*Special note about anchovies: You cannot make a real Caesar salad without anchovies. Even if you hate anchovies, you’ll love this dressing. (Trust me, Pam Bova.) When you purchase your anchovy cans, buy the most expensive brand that is available and be careful not to purchase cans that are bulging. When you open the cans, if the can makes a popping sound, discard that can immediately! If the can opens smoothly, that’s good!
After you’ve opened the can, take a quick sniff of the anchovies. Freshly and properly canned anchovies smell good and are very yummy, but, nothing will turn you off faster than a rotten can of anchovies. Please give them a quick sniff-test! You’ll know right away if they’re bad. It’s my opinion that most people who say they hate anchovies have eaten or smelled bad anchovies in the past. Fish canning techniques are not consistent. I have had a few bad experiences, myself, with some bulging, popping cans! Just follow the above Bulge, Pop, and Sniff tests and you’ll be fine!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Dangers of Diet Drinks
DIET COKE = DIET POISON
November, 2007
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen with Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
Beverages and foods sweetened with the chemical ASPARTAME, aspartyl-phenylalanine-1-methyl ester, also marketed under the names Equal, Nutrasweet, and Canderel SHOULD NOT BE EATEN. Aspartame is the sweetener in Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Diet Pepsi, Diet Sprite, Diet Root Beer, many other diet drinks, sugar-free chewing gum, and … The list includes approximately 6,000 prepackaged consumer foods.
For years, we’ve heard consumer advocates raving and ranting with serious concerns about aspartame, making claims that it causes headaches, brain tumors, brain lesions, and lymphoma. Blah, blah, blah, what do they want me to do? Drink real Coke and gain more weight? I don’t think so! A little diet soda now and then can’t be all that bad, right? …Wrong!
I was convinced of the danger while I was driving home from a recent agility competition, listening to NPR on the radio. Dr. Devra Davis, the senior research scientist who runs the Center for Environmental Oncology at the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute was the interviewee. Dr. Davis isn’t some wacko tree hugger (like some of us have been accused of being!); she’s a real scientist with a lengthy, reputable resume.
During the program, Dr. Davis discussed many probable causes of cancer, including excessive cell phone usage; exposure to pesticides, chemical cleaning agents, and unsafe cosmetics; and Diet Coke. She said that the reason she is particularly worried about diet drinks is because her institute research shows that aspartame probably causes slow growing BRAIN CANCER. Brain cancer can take as long as 20 to 30 years to show up; that’s why her research isn’t proven yet. Her concern is that an entire generation of diet drinkers is at risk for brain tumors that are insidiously growing now.
Even if you’re not worried about the possible link between aspartame and brain cancer, it’s an undisputed fact that when you drink diet soda, your body ingests aspartame and breaks it down into several residual chemicals, including formaldehyde, formic acid, aspartic acid, phenylalanine, and methanol.
Alrighty, then! No more diet sodas for me! I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to ingest formaldehyde in my body, not just yet. I’ll be drinking unsweetened iced tea, organic if possible, or good ol’ water from now on.
November, 2007
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen with Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
Beverages and foods sweetened with the chemical ASPARTAME, aspartyl-phenylalanine-1-methyl ester, also marketed under the names Equal, Nutrasweet, and Canderel SHOULD NOT BE EATEN. Aspartame is the sweetener in Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Diet Pepsi, Diet Sprite, Diet Root Beer, many other diet drinks, sugar-free chewing gum, and … The list includes approximately 6,000 prepackaged consumer foods.
For years, we’ve heard consumer advocates raving and ranting with serious concerns about aspartame, making claims that it causes headaches, brain tumors, brain lesions, and lymphoma. Blah, blah, blah, what do they want me to do? Drink real Coke and gain more weight? I don’t think so! A little diet soda now and then can’t be all that bad, right? …Wrong!
I was convinced of the danger while I was driving home from a recent agility competition, listening to NPR on the radio. Dr. Devra Davis, the senior research scientist who runs the Center for Environmental Oncology at the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute was the interviewee. Dr. Davis isn’t some wacko tree hugger (like some of us have been accused of being!); she’s a real scientist with a lengthy, reputable resume.
During the program, Dr. Davis discussed many probable causes of cancer, including excessive cell phone usage; exposure to pesticides, chemical cleaning agents, and unsafe cosmetics; and Diet Coke. She said that the reason she is particularly worried about diet drinks is because her institute research shows that aspartame probably causes slow growing BRAIN CANCER. Brain cancer can take as long as 20 to 30 years to show up; that’s why her research isn’t proven yet. Her concern is that an entire generation of diet drinkers is at risk for brain tumors that are insidiously growing now.
Even if you’re not worried about the possible link between aspartame and brain cancer, it’s an undisputed fact that when you drink diet soda, your body ingests aspartame and breaks it down into several residual chemicals, including formaldehyde, formic acid, aspartic acid, phenylalanine, and methanol.
Alrighty, then! No more diet sodas for me! I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to ingest formaldehyde in my body, not just yet. I’ll be drinking unsweetened iced tea, organic if possible, or good ol’ water from now on.
Why I Buy Organic Food
Why I Buy Organic Foods
And Why You Should, Too!
November, 2007
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen with Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
The four main reasons why I grow, buy, cook, and eat organic foods are:
Health. Flavor. Health. and… Health.
Health and Pesticides
The first health reason that I eat organic is that USDA certified organic foods aren’t treated with artificial pesticides. Non-organic, conventionally grown fruits and vegetables are covered with pesticides, and most don’t wash off. Studies prove that chemical pollutants from pesticides are in the bloodstreams of some of us. Unfortunately, those pollutants don’t always flush out of our systems. Some of the chemicals found in blood are those that were banned more than 25 years ago!
Organophosphates are the most commonly used pesticides, and have been linked to poisonings, developmental and behavioral disorders, and motor dysfunction. This is serious stuff! I personally met a guy who told me that he had once popped a grape into his mouth while shopping at the grocery store. Within 24 hours, he was in the intensive care ward at the hospital, suffering from extreme toxemia from pesticides. Doctors told him he was lucky to be alive. He developed permanent hyper-sensitivity to pesticides and other chemicals from that unfortunate event.
Young children and babies are the most at risk due to exposure from pesticides in food. Pets can also become unhealthy from eating pesticide-laden foods. Just ask Cheepy Cheep how he feels about them! At the end of this commentary is a list of the fruits and vegetables that are grown with the most pesticides.
Organic Moo Cows
Organic milk and other dairy products are easy to find on your grocer’s shelves. It’s a no-brainer that you should buy organic dairy because non-organic cows usually have really unhealthy diets. What they eat goes into their milk, that you drink! Non-organic cows can be given grain and other feed products that are grown with pesticides, herbicides, and fungicides. Some of those chemicals bio-accumulate, which means they are absorbed into the grain, ingested by the cow, transferred to the cow’s milk, packaged in the milk carton, swallowed by the human, and retained in the human’s tissues permanently. The diet of non-organic cows can also include synthetic growth hormones and antibiotics.
Flavor
Grocery stores don’t always choose conventionally grown fruits and vegetables because of their flavor. They’re usually selected because of their appearance. Aren’t you just a little suspicious of perfect-looking fruit? Some conventional fruit displays almost look plastic to me. Colored oranges offend me the most. A perfectly-shaped, bright red apple that has a long shelf life must be more profitable for the grocery store to sell. Compared to the appearance of an organically grown, smaller, not bright red, gala apple, for instance, the conventional apple may appear more marketable.
I challenge you to a taste test! Buy a conventional ruby-red apple and an organic gala. After you WASH THE CONVENTIONAL APPLE, take a sample bite of each. You’ll be amazed at how much more delicious the organic apple tastes. This difference holds true with most fresh produce and dairy products. I LOVE the richer taste of organic milk, butter, and cream. Yum, yum, yum.
More Personal Health Concerns
Organic foods have not been genetically engineered, or irradiated. The FDA has not issued official concerns about either process which is allowed in conventional food production. Consumer advocacy groups, however, ARE concerned about the following potential health safety issues of eating GMOs (genetically modified organisms) and irradiated foods:
• Creation of new antibiotic-resistant super diseases by transference to humans from an antibiotic resistant gene inserted into most GM crops
• Increase in naturally occurring plant toxins that could happen with combination of artificially altered genes
• Decreased nutritional efficiency through altered DNA
• A new class of chemicals, cyclobutanones, formed when food is irradiated, may cause genetic and cellular damage in humans and animals
None of the above health threats is recognized (yet) by the FDA, but why take the risk? Eat organic and you and your children will be safe!
Organic Farming for a Healthier Environment
The use of chemical pesticides and synthetic fertilizers is destructive to our environment. They pollute the air we breathe and the water we drink. The fragile balance of ecosystems is permanently altered when pesticides indiscriminately kill insects, including butterflies, birds, frogs, lizards, and other wildlife. Mining, production, and use of synthetic fertilizers cause algae blooms in waterways, fish kills, and respiratory problems, just to name a few.
What you buy and what you eat not only affects your personal health, but the health of our planet.
Inconvenience of Going Organic
When I stated that I “grow, buy, cook, and eat organic foods,” I didn’t mean to imply that I ONLY eat organic, because that’s, unfortunately, almost impossible given our lifestyle. We eat out at restaurants, have dinner at friends’, and often make unwise shopping choices due to inconvenience or lack of sense. If you eat organically as often as possible, and continue to increase the percentage of your consumption of organic vs. conventional foods you are minimizing your dietary health risks.
News Flash! Eating all of the organic foods you can get your hands on will not make you healthy if you eat too much! Organic sugar is easy to find on the grocery shelves, along with organic cookies, chips, and high-calorie fruit drinks! Just because it’s “organic” doesn’t give you the green light to consume! You can still be organically unhealthy if you’re too chubby!
Cost of Going Organic
Organic products can often be more expensive than conventional foods in the grocery store, but it slays me when people choose not to spend $2 more for a gallon of organic milk, and then spend $10 or more on a bottle of wine! What sense does that make? When considering the cost of going organic, in the sagacious words of my sister Susan,
“How much is your health worth?”
It’s your choice.
And Why You Should, Too!
November, 2007
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen with Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
The four main reasons why I grow, buy, cook, and eat organic foods are:
Health. Flavor. Health. and… Health.
Health and Pesticides
The first health reason that I eat organic is that USDA certified organic foods aren’t treated with artificial pesticides. Non-organic, conventionally grown fruits and vegetables are covered with pesticides, and most don’t wash off. Studies prove that chemical pollutants from pesticides are in the bloodstreams of some of us. Unfortunately, those pollutants don’t always flush out of our systems. Some of the chemicals found in blood are those that were banned more than 25 years ago!
Organophosphates are the most commonly used pesticides, and have been linked to poisonings, developmental and behavioral disorders, and motor dysfunction. This is serious stuff! I personally met a guy who told me that he had once popped a grape into his mouth while shopping at the grocery store. Within 24 hours, he was in the intensive care ward at the hospital, suffering from extreme toxemia from pesticides. Doctors told him he was lucky to be alive. He developed permanent hyper-sensitivity to pesticides and other chemicals from that unfortunate event.
Young children and babies are the most at risk due to exposure from pesticides in food. Pets can also become unhealthy from eating pesticide-laden foods. Just ask Cheepy Cheep how he feels about them! At the end of this commentary is a list of the fruits and vegetables that are grown with the most pesticides.
Organic Moo Cows
Organic milk and other dairy products are easy to find on your grocer’s shelves. It’s a no-brainer that you should buy organic dairy because non-organic cows usually have really unhealthy diets. What they eat goes into their milk, that you drink! Non-organic cows can be given grain and other feed products that are grown with pesticides, herbicides, and fungicides. Some of those chemicals bio-accumulate, which means they are absorbed into the grain, ingested by the cow, transferred to the cow’s milk, packaged in the milk carton, swallowed by the human, and retained in the human’s tissues permanently. The diet of non-organic cows can also include synthetic growth hormones and antibiotics.
Flavor
Grocery stores don’t always choose conventionally grown fruits and vegetables because of their flavor. They’re usually selected because of their appearance. Aren’t you just a little suspicious of perfect-looking fruit? Some conventional fruit displays almost look plastic to me. Colored oranges offend me the most. A perfectly-shaped, bright red apple that has a long shelf life must be more profitable for the grocery store to sell. Compared to the appearance of an organically grown, smaller, not bright red, gala apple, for instance, the conventional apple may appear more marketable.
I challenge you to a taste test! Buy a conventional ruby-red apple and an organic gala. After you WASH THE CONVENTIONAL APPLE, take a sample bite of each. You’ll be amazed at how much more delicious the organic apple tastes. This difference holds true with most fresh produce and dairy products. I LOVE the richer taste of organic milk, butter, and cream. Yum, yum, yum.
More Personal Health Concerns
Organic foods have not been genetically engineered, or irradiated. The FDA has not issued official concerns about either process which is allowed in conventional food production. Consumer advocacy groups, however, ARE concerned about the following potential health safety issues of eating GMOs (genetically modified organisms) and irradiated foods:
• Creation of new antibiotic-resistant super diseases by transference to humans from an antibiotic resistant gene inserted into most GM crops
• Increase in naturally occurring plant toxins that could happen with combination of artificially altered genes
• Decreased nutritional efficiency through altered DNA
• A new class of chemicals, cyclobutanones, formed when food is irradiated, may cause genetic and cellular damage in humans and animals
None of the above health threats is recognized (yet) by the FDA, but why take the risk? Eat organic and you and your children will be safe!
Organic Farming for a Healthier Environment
The use of chemical pesticides and synthetic fertilizers is destructive to our environment. They pollute the air we breathe and the water we drink. The fragile balance of ecosystems is permanently altered when pesticides indiscriminately kill insects, including butterflies, birds, frogs, lizards, and other wildlife. Mining, production, and use of synthetic fertilizers cause algae blooms in waterways, fish kills, and respiratory problems, just to name a few.
What you buy and what you eat not only affects your personal health, but the health of our planet.
Inconvenience of Going Organic
When I stated that I “grow, buy, cook, and eat organic foods,” I didn’t mean to imply that I ONLY eat organic, because that’s, unfortunately, almost impossible given our lifestyle. We eat out at restaurants, have dinner at friends’, and often make unwise shopping choices due to inconvenience or lack of sense. If you eat organically as often as possible, and continue to increase the percentage of your consumption of organic vs. conventional foods you are minimizing your dietary health risks.
News Flash! Eating all of the organic foods you can get your hands on will not make you healthy if you eat too much! Organic sugar is easy to find on the grocery shelves, along with organic cookies, chips, and high-calorie fruit drinks! Just because it’s “organic” doesn’t give you the green light to consume! You can still be organically unhealthy if you’re too chubby!
Cost of Going Organic
Organic products can often be more expensive than conventional foods in the grocery store, but it slays me when people choose not to spend $2 more for a gallon of organic milk, and then spend $10 or more on a bottle of wine! What sense does that make? When considering the cost of going organic, in the sagacious words of my sister Susan,
“How much is your health worth?”
It’s your choice.
Grocery Shopping Tips
Grocery Shopping Tips
November, 2007
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen with Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
With all the mind-boggling issues about the health and safety of food, how can anyone go grocery shopping without being depressed? I follow the steps below when making my selections, and I still have a lot of fun in the grocery store!
1, USDA ORGANIC
If food has the organic certification, I consider it safe to purchase as long as it’s fresh and not full of sugar or sodium. If I have more than one organic brand to choose from, I next check the company label to see where the product came from. I buy the organic product that came from a grower or supplier closest to the grocery store where I’m shopping.
2. INGREDIENTS TO AVOID IN CONVENTIONAL FOODS
It’s very important to take a little extra time and read the labels on the food you intend to feed yourself and your family. Simply do a quick scan of the list of ingredients, and if any of the following ingredients show up, put that item back on the grocer’s shelf.
NO - MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE (MSG)
NO - ASPARTAME, EQUAL, NUTRASWEET
NO – BHA or BHT
NO - NO BY-PRODUCTS FROM MEAT OR POULTRY
NO - Margarine
I also try to avoid:
HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP
HYDROGENATED OILS
BLEACHED FLOUR (“Enriched” flour is usually bleached)
SODIUM NITRITE (cured bacon and most hot dogs)
ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, COLORS, & PRESERVATIVES
3. FRESH PRODUCE
Fresh fruits and vegetables, grown locally, in season are your best healthy choices. If you want produce that isn’t available fresh, choose canned or jarred selections before frozen. More nutrients are lost in the freezing process than in the canning process.
Grocery Shopping Tips, continued
4. EXPIRATION DATES
I always check the dates stamped on refrigerated selections. Grocery stores will place the oldest item toward the front or on the top of the stack. If an item looks a little haggard, I’ll grab a fresh one with a date farther in the future from the back of the stack. Sometimes you can safely buy a product that’s on sale because it’s approaching its expiration date. Be careful, though. Beef is usually pretty safe if it has been refrigerated continuously, but outdated poultry can make you really, really sick, even if you cook it thoroughly.
5. GO LOCAL
It doesn’t make sense to buy oranges from California when you live in Florida and it doesn’t make sense to buy cheese from Wisconsin when you live in Vermont. It makes even less sense to buy produce from Peru, Mexico, or Chile when almost every conceivable food item is grown here in the USA. We consumers contribute to global warming when we choose to buy products that are shipped thousands of miles in diesel-powered freight trucks. Read the labels! Be a smart shopper! It makes a difference!
6. BORN IN THE USA!
I don’t buy fresh produce that is grown outside of the USA, unless it is USDA certified organic (the USDA does certify many foreign products like bananas) and unless an American brand is unavailable. It’s my opinion that it is too risky to trust the agricultural practices in other countries. Our own government has a big enough challenge regulating health standards here at home. Another reason for buying American products is to help support the American farmer and our domestic economy.
November, 2007
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen with Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
With all the mind-boggling issues about the health and safety of food, how can anyone go grocery shopping without being depressed? I follow the steps below when making my selections, and I still have a lot of fun in the grocery store!
1, USDA ORGANIC
If food has the organic certification, I consider it safe to purchase as long as it’s fresh and not full of sugar or sodium. If I have more than one organic brand to choose from, I next check the company label to see where the product came from. I buy the organic product that came from a grower or supplier closest to the grocery store where I’m shopping.
2. INGREDIENTS TO AVOID IN CONVENTIONAL FOODS
It’s very important to take a little extra time and read the labels on the food you intend to feed yourself and your family. Simply do a quick scan of the list of ingredients, and if any of the following ingredients show up, put that item back on the grocer’s shelf.
NO - MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE (MSG)
NO - ASPARTAME, EQUAL, NUTRASWEET
NO – BHA or BHT
NO - NO BY-PRODUCTS FROM MEAT OR POULTRY
NO - Margarine
I also try to avoid:
HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP
HYDROGENATED OILS
BLEACHED FLOUR (“Enriched” flour is usually bleached)
SODIUM NITRITE (cured bacon and most hot dogs)
ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, COLORS, & PRESERVATIVES
3. FRESH PRODUCE
Fresh fruits and vegetables, grown locally, in season are your best healthy choices. If you want produce that isn’t available fresh, choose canned or jarred selections before frozen. More nutrients are lost in the freezing process than in the canning process.
Grocery Shopping Tips, continued
4. EXPIRATION DATES
I always check the dates stamped on refrigerated selections. Grocery stores will place the oldest item toward the front or on the top of the stack. If an item looks a little haggard, I’ll grab a fresh one with a date farther in the future from the back of the stack. Sometimes you can safely buy a product that’s on sale because it’s approaching its expiration date. Be careful, though. Beef is usually pretty safe if it has been refrigerated continuously, but outdated poultry can make you really, really sick, even if you cook it thoroughly.
5. GO LOCAL
It doesn’t make sense to buy oranges from California when you live in Florida and it doesn’t make sense to buy cheese from Wisconsin when you live in Vermont. It makes even less sense to buy produce from Peru, Mexico, or Chile when almost every conceivable food item is grown here in the USA. We consumers contribute to global warming when we choose to buy products that are shipped thousands of miles in diesel-powered freight trucks. Read the labels! Be a smart shopper! It makes a difference!
6. BORN IN THE USA!
I don’t buy fresh produce that is grown outside of the USA, unless it is USDA certified organic (the USDA does certify many foreign products like bananas) and unless an American brand is unavailable. It’s my opinion that it is too risky to trust the agricultural practices in other countries. Our own government has a big enough challenge regulating health standards here at home. Another reason for buying American products is to help support the American farmer and our domestic economy.
Eating Healthy
Eating Healthy
November, 2007
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen with Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
So many different diet plans are out there right now that it makes it hard to know what to believe, and what to eat. From the small amount of research that I have done for this book, I have learned that there are several synthetic foods that should be avoided, including monosodium glutamate (MSG), aspartame (Equal & Diet Coke), hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, and others (see the list in the Grocery Shopping section). I also have learned that fatty acids are important, as are complex carbohydrates (whole grains and fresh vegetables).
The debate among dieticians, nutritionists, and physicians regarding the healthiest diet continues. As a person who loves to eat and loves to cook, and consequently is in a life-long struggle with excess weight, my goals are to try to …
Eat less
Our typically large eating portions are out of control. Less food is actually plenty of food! Many of the recipes in this book are heavy and rich, and should probably be enjoyed only on special occasions.
While compiling these recipes, I was concerned about encouraging my friends and family to prepare such apparently “fattening” foods. I discussed those concerns with my mom, Flo, who is a very healthy septuagenarian (she is younger than some 40 year-olds that I know). She reminded me that our Aunt Clara always ate a diet of very rich foods (some recipes included in this book), including heavy cream, real butter, lots of eggs, cheese, and meat. (And, she enjoyed her cocktail hour, too!) Aunt Clara lived to be 91 years old! She never counted carbs…I doubt she had even heard of them! The one thing she didn’t do was eat big portions. She thought “going for seconds” was rude and impolite. Aunt Clara ate anything she desired, but never “pigged out.”
Mom pointed out that very good food is very satisfying, so you shouldn’t need a LOT of food to be truly satisfied.
Eat slower
Instead of wolfing down the food on my plate, I’m going to try to enjoy my meals longer and let my stomach become full with less food.
Eat smarter
Cut way down on white flour and other starchy foods with “empty” calories.
Eat healthier.
Reduce risk of various types of cancer by avoiding synthetic foods and sweeteners. Go Organic!
Eat in balance
After cooking a heavy dinner one night, plan a lighter meal for the following night (or two!).
Eat fewer calories
Avoid sugary beverages and desserts. Indulge infrequently…save those sweets for special occasions.
Exercise more
Walk, hike, jog, swim, or bike for at least half an hour, at least 4 times a week.
NOTE: Although I’m particular about avoiding monosodium glutamate because of potential health hazards, not everyone else is concerned. Millions of healthy people eat MSG everyday with no apparent problems. Some of the recipes in this book include pre-packaged mixes that may (or may not) contain MSG. I’m not familiar with every ingredient included in these recipes, so be advised, and make your own choices. If you’re concerned about any pre-packaged products as ingredients, I’m sure you can find natural substitutes that would yield similar, good-tasting results.
November, 2007
Excerpt from "In the Kitchen with Family and Friends" by Karen Lee
So many different diet plans are out there right now that it makes it hard to know what to believe, and what to eat. From the small amount of research that I have done for this book, I have learned that there are several synthetic foods that should be avoided, including monosodium glutamate (MSG), aspartame (Equal & Diet Coke), hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, and others (see the list in the Grocery Shopping section). I also have learned that fatty acids are important, as are complex carbohydrates (whole grains and fresh vegetables).
The debate among dieticians, nutritionists, and physicians regarding the healthiest diet continues. As a person who loves to eat and loves to cook, and consequently is in a life-long struggle with excess weight, my goals are to try to …
Eat less
Our typically large eating portions are out of control. Less food is actually plenty of food! Many of the recipes in this book are heavy and rich, and should probably be enjoyed only on special occasions.
While compiling these recipes, I was concerned about encouraging my friends and family to prepare such apparently “fattening” foods. I discussed those concerns with my mom, Flo, who is a very healthy septuagenarian (she is younger than some 40 year-olds that I know). She reminded me that our Aunt Clara always ate a diet of very rich foods (some recipes included in this book), including heavy cream, real butter, lots of eggs, cheese, and meat. (And, she enjoyed her cocktail hour, too!) Aunt Clara lived to be 91 years old! She never counted carbs…I doubt she had even heard of them! The one thing she didn’t do was eat big portions. She thought “going for seconds” was rude and impolite. Aunt Clara ate anything she desired, but never “pigged out.”
Mom pointed out that very good food is very satisfying, so you shouldn’t need a LOT of food to be truly satisfied.
Eat slower
Instead of wolfing down the food on my plate, I’m going to try to enjoy my meals longer and let my stomach become full with less food.
Eat smarter
Cut way down on white flour and other starchy foods with “empty” calories.
Eat healthier.
Reduce risk of various types of cancer by avoiding synthetic foods and sweeteners. Go Organic!
Eat in balance
After cooking a heavy dinner one night, plan a lighter meal for the following night (or two!).
Eat fewer calories
Avoid sugary beverages and desserts. Indulge infrequently…save those sweets for special occasions.
Exercise more
Walk, hike, jog, swim, or bike for at least half an hour, at least 4 times a week.
NOTE: Although I’m particular about avoiding monosodium glutamate because of potential health hazards, not everyone else is concerned. Millions of healthy people eat MSG everyday with no apparent problems. Some of the recipes in this book include pre-packaged mixes that may (or may not) contain MSG. I’m not familiar with every ingredient included in these recipes, so be advised, and make your own choices. If you’re concerned about any pre-packaged products as ingredients, I’m sure you can find natural substitutes that would yield similar, good-tasting results.
Cheepy Cheep
Our Cardinal in the Coal Mine
My mom, Flo, has a very caring heart, the kind of heart that urges her to rescue homeless cats and stray dogs and baby birds fallen (or ejected) from their nests. When we Greene children were growing up, scores of wild baby birds were raised in our home. While not all survived, many were raised, rehabilitated, and happily released back to their natural environment. She rescued a baby squirrel that, for a time, became a beloved member of our family. Junior the Squirrel even had his own bedroom with unscreened windows slightly opened to the outside world. He could come and go as he wished to pursue his tree climbing pleasures. Sort of like doggy-doors, those were squirrel-windows. The story of Junior is an interesting one, but this is the story of Cheepy Cheep, our Cardinal in the Coal Mine.
Cheepy Cheep first came into Flo’s life after my sister Susan discovered his pitiful featherless body lying on the ground beneath one of her oak trees. She contacted Mom the Animal Rescuer who immediately took the unfortunate chick under her wing, so to speak. Before Susan found him, Cheepy was definitely on his way to an extremely abbreviated life. Mom figures that he had just hatched moments before his fall, and had probably been ejected by his parents because he appeared to be unhealthy and deformed. All infant birds are unattractive when they are first born. Most baby birds have few or no feathers at first, and their skins are so thin that you can easily see their internal organs. Mom was accustomed the usual ugly chick syndrome, but this particular baby was extraordinarily homely. One of his eyes had been destroyed, either pecked out or diseased, and his body was curled and rather gnarly. It was impossible to tell what species he was.
Every creature deserves an opportunity at life, in Mom’s caring view. So, on August 8, 1990, she took him home and began a remarkably long relationship that would affect her life, and ours, in many ways. As an experienced former wild chick rescuer, Flo knew a lot about the dietary requirements of infant birds. She fed Cheepy mashed up hard boiled eggs and NO water (years ago, we had unknowingly killed several baby birds by feeding them water droplets). He also got Gerber’s baby rice and Gerber’s pureed baby fruits fed through an eye dropper. When he was able to feed himself, he graduated to fresh fruit and Hartz bird seed.
Cheepy grew to adulthood, but remained the ugliest bird you have ever seen. His empty eye socket was continually oozy and quite gross looking, he was skinny and still a bit gnarly, and he never grew enough feathers to be able to determine if he was a cardinal, a blue jay, or some other unknown species. Of course, he never flew and could never be released, but he had a safe comfortable home in his cage in Flo’s bedroom. Under Mom’s continual care including meals of standard grocery store pet bird food and warm baths once every week, Cheepy lived a marginally healthy life for eight years. As he aged, he gradually started to show signs of poorer physical condition, becoming weak and even less attractive.
Flo took him to a local bird veterinarian who, after performing a complete exam including blood analysis, diagnosed him as having nutritional deficiencies. The doctor prescribed an improved diet of fresh fruits and vegetables, and, (get this:) the “Bits” from the dog food “Kibbles’n’Bits.” Not the Kibbles, mind you, just the Bits. Evidently, the Bits contain high amounts of vitamin A, of which poor Cheepy was very deficient. Now, since Cheepy was not supposed to eat the Kibbles, Mom had to hand pick out the Bits every week and put them aside for Cheepy’s daily vitamin A ration. (Sweetie, Mom’s wonderful dog whom she of course rescued, inherited the Kibbles.) Under this new and improved diet regimen, Cheepy almost immediately showed signs of improvement. He grew a full cover of red feathers, and even sprouted a little crest! It turned out that he really was a cardinal, after all!
Flo’s life with Cheepy continued another six years, with Mom diligently picking Bits, chopping his favorite fresh fruits, including strawberries, and vegetables everyday, and arranging for qualified, specially trained Cheepy sitters (AKA: Bits Pickers) whenever she traveled.
Cheepy turned the ripe old age of fourteen years old. Most of us began to wonder just how long cardinals actually live. When he started to again show signs of declining health, this time losing all of his pretty plumage, Flo thought it was probably old age finally taking its toll. But, just in case he could be helped, she took him to the bird vet again. This time, the vet referred her to a bird specialist. Mom, of course, took Cheepy to the specialist…a well informed professional who changed Mom’s life.
For many years, we had all known that eating organically grown foods is better for us and is better for our environment. We didn’t know that not eating organic foods was probably making us sick, and was poisoning Cheepy Cheep. Dr. Curtis, the bird specialist, informed my mom that the amount of pesticides on one single conventionally grown strawberry is enough to kill a bird. According to Dr. Curtis, it was amazing that Cheepy was alive at all. She prescribed an emergency switch in his diet to 100 percent organic foods, referring Flo to Harrison Foods for the purchase of organic bird mash. Within just one week of the removal the toxins from his diet, Cheepy recovered completely. His plumage regrew and he became actually beautiful for the first time in his life. He pranced and danced around his cage with a full male cardinal’s crest, and began to sing recognizable cardinal songs. It was strange for me when I visited my mom to hear the melodious, familiar tune of a male cardinal coming from INSIDE her house.
At the time of this writing, November of 2007, Cheepy’s diet is still 100% organic. Mom still chops fresh fruits and vegetables for him daily, but nowadays, none are grown with pesticides or synthetic fertilizers. Cheepy is more beautiful and healthier than ever, and celebrated his 17th birthday this year with organic strawberries. I’m very pleased to say that my mom has also changed her own diet to include mostly organically grown foods.
Cheepy Cheep is truly our Cardinal in the Coal Mine. Humans are obviously bigger than birds, and, in most cases, more tolerant to the toxins found in conventionally grown foods. But, we should learn a lesson from Cheepy’s life. We truly ARE what we eat. We should be careful to avoid poisoning ourselves whenever we can.
We should all eat organic and live healthier more beautiful lives, like Cheepy Cheep does!
*Update April 21, 2010: Cheepy Cheep is now almost twenty years old, and is appears more healthy than he was in 2007. His plumage is bright red, and his crest is tall and proud. His favorite food de jour is organic blueberries. He dances around his cage happily and sings joyously when his human family brings blueberries to his plate. What a lucky bird!
I wonder what the lifespan of a cardinal is?????
My mom, Flo, has a very caring heart, the kind of heart that urges her to rescue homeless cats and stray dogs and baby birds fallen (or ejected) from their nests. When we Greene children were growing up, scores of wild baby birds were raised in our home. While not all survived, many were raised, rehabilitated, and happily released back to their natural environment. She rescued a baby squirrel that, for a time, became a beloved member of our family. Junior the Squirrel even had his own bedroom with unscreened windows slightly opened to the outside world. He could come and go as he wished to pursue his tree climbing pleasures. Sort of like doggy-doors, those were squirrel-windows. The story of Junior is an interesting one, but this is the story of Cheepy Cheep, our Cardinal in the Coal Mine.
Cheepy Cheep first came into Flo’s life after my sister Susan discovered his pitiful featherless body lying on the ground beneath one of her oak trees. She contacted Mom the Animal Rescuer who immediately took the unfortunate chick under her wing, so to speak. Before Susan found him, Cheepy was definitely on his way to an extremely abbreviated life. Mom figures that he had just hatched moments before his fall, and had probably been ejected by his parents because he appeared to be unhealthy and deformed. All infant birds are unattractive when they are first born. Most baby birds have few or no feathers at first, and their skins are so thin that you can easily see their internal organs. Mom was accustomed the usual ugly chick syndrome, but this particular baby was extraordinarily homely. One of his eyes had been destroyed, either pecked out or diseased, and his body was curled and rather gnarly. It was impossible to tell what species he was.
Every creature deserves an opportunity at life, in Mom’s caring view. So, on August 8, 1990, she took him home and began a remarkably long relationship that would affect her life, and ours, in many ways. As an experienced former wild chick rescuer, Flo knew a lot about the dietary requirements of infant birds. She fed Cheepy mashed up hard boiled eggs and NO water (years ago, we had unknowingly killed several baby birds by feeding them water droplets). He also got Gerber’s baby rice and Gerber’s pureed baby fruits fed through an eye dropper. When he was able to feed himself, he graduated to fresh fruit and Hartz bird seed.
Cheepy grew to adulthood, but remained the ugliest bird you have ever seen. His empty eye socket was continually oozy and quite gross looking, he was skinny and still a bit gnarly, and he never grew enough feathers to be able to determine if he was a cardinal, a blue jay, or some other unknown species. Of course, he never flew and could never be released, but he had a safe comfortable home in his cage in Flo’s bedroom. Under Mom’s continual care including meals of standard grocery store pet bird food and warm baths once every week, Cheepy lived a marginally healthy life for eight years. As he aged, he gradually started to show signs of poorer physical condition, becoming weak and even less attractive.
Flo took him to a local bird veterinarian who, after performing a complete exam including blood analysis, diagnosed him as having nutritional deficiencies. The doctor prescribed an improved diet of fresh fruits and vegetables, and, (get this:) the “Bits” from the dog food “Kibbles’n’Bits.” Not the Kibbles, mind you, just the Bits. Evidently, the Bits contain high amounts of vitamin A, of which poor Cheepy was very deficient. Now, since Cheepy was not supposed to eat the Kibbles, Mom had to hand pick out the Bits every week and put them aside for Cheepy’s daily vitamin A ration. (Sweetie, Mom’s wonderful dog whom she of course rescued, inherited the Kibbles.) Under this new and improved diet regimen, Cheepy almost immediately showed signs of improvement. He grew a full cover of red feathers, and even sprouted a little crest! It turned out that he really was a cardinal, after all!
Flo’s life with Cheepy continued another six years, with Mom diligently picking Bits, chopping his favorite fresh fruits, including strawberries, and vegetables everyday, and arranging for qualified, specially trained Cheepy sitters (AKA: Bits Pickers) whenever she traveled.
Cheepy turned the ripe old age of fourteen years old. Most of us began to wonder just how long cardinals actually live. When he started to again show signs of declining health, this time losing all of his pretty plumage, Flo thought it was probably old age finally taking its toll. But, just in case he could be helped, she took him to the bird vet again. This time, the vet referred her to a bird specialist. Mom, of course, took Cheepy to the specialist…a well informed professional who changed Mom’s life.
For many years, we had all known that eating organically grown foods is better for us and is better for our environment. We didn’t know that not eating organic foods was probably making us sick, and was poisoning Cheepy Cheep. Dr. Curtis, the bird specialist, informed my mom that the amount of pesticides on one single conventionally grown strawberry is enough to kill a bird. According to Dr. Curtis, it was amazing that Cheepy was alive at all. She prescribed an emergency switch in his diet to 100 percent organic foods, referring Flo to Harrison Foods for the purchase of organic bird mash. Within just one week of the removal the toxins from his diet, Cheepy recovered completely. His plumage regrew and he became actually beautiful for the first time in his life. He pranced and danced around his cage with a full male cardinal’s crest, and began to sing recognizable cardinal songs. It was strange for me when I visited my mom to hear the melodious, familiar tune of a male cardinal coming from INSIDE her house.
At the time of this writing, November of 2007, Cheepy’s diet is still 100% organic. Mom still chops fresh fruits and vegetables for him daily, but nowadays, none are grown with pesticides or synthetic fertilizers. Cheepy is more beautiful and healthier than ever, and celebrated his 17th birthday this year with organic strawberries. I’m very pleased to say that my mom has also changed her own diet to include mostly organically grown foods.
Cheepy Cheep is truly our Cardinal in the Coal Mine. Humans are obviously bigger than birds, and, in most cases, more tolerant to the toxins found in conventionally grown foods. But, we should learn a lesson from Cheepy’s life. We truly ARE what we eat. We should be careful to avoid poisoning ourselves whenever we can.
We should all eat organic and live healthier more beautiful lives, like Cheepy Cheep does!
*Update April 21, 2010: Cheepy Cheep is now almost twenty years old, and is appears more healthy than he was in 2007. His plumage is bright red, and his crest is tall and proud. His favorite food de jour is organic blueberries. He dances around his cage happily and sings joyously when his human family brings blueberries to his plate. What a lucky bird!
I wonder what the lifespan of a cardinal is?????
Stinky and the Bear
Stinky and The Bear
June 15, 2008
Written after our winter trip to Florida, the year we picked up our long-awaited LTD Edition Bunkey’s the Ticket puppy.
It was great to get home to Vermont. It was a really long trip, for everyone, although it was wonderful seeing our family along the way, and especially great having Flo with us.
The weather is SO-O-O nice here for us and our dogs. They never overheat, and are running and swimming to their hearts' content. Yes, the family is happy together once again. The dogs run loose in the yard at the same time, with no dangerous conflicts between each other. I think it was mainly Bunkey (our new puppy) who made peace by deciding to stay away from Stinky's space. Bunkey's been getting smart lately. She still sucks up to Carly a lot, but she's pretty careful not to get in Stinky's face. It's not entirely perfect, because now that Stinky has given Bunkey an inch, Bunkey continually tries to take a mile. Yesterday, Miss Personality tried to take Stinky's toy directly out of Stinky's mouth. Not a good idea. But, the good news is that, instead of killing Bunkey, Stinky nipped her on her nose. It was the perfect lesson. Enough pain to get B's attention, with no blood. I was really proud of Stinky.
I have another story to relate about Stinky, involving a BEAR!
Yesterday, I was in our yard watching Bunkey swim in the pond, and Stinky took off toward the road (about 100 yards away -- we live on a quiet, deadend, unpaved mountain road), barking like a fiend. I assumed she was attacking one of the neighbors who was innocently walking her dog, and called Stinky off. Stinky wouldn't come back to me, instead she intensified her barking. So, I squinted toward the road to see what was up. I had just moments before taken our bulging garbage cans to the end of the driveway in anticipation of the garbage truck, and I saw a large black dog head poking into one of the cans. ... No, wait a minute! That's not a dog, it's too big -- that must be a wolf! No -- my gawd -- that's a BEAR! A BEAR! In my garbage can, actively eating stale catfood (extremely reinforcing for the bear).
OK, you must try to picture the scene: Stinky was only ten feet away from the bear, bravely barking her head off! Our four month old dumbass puppy was running loose. I was screaming for Stinky to come, worried that she might get into a life threatening altercation with the 200-pound Ursus. All that barking and screaming caused the puppy to go berserk! Bunkey thought, Something really exciting must be up! So she grabbed her SQUEAKY toy, and started running laps around the yard. No kidding, she was right: something was definitely up -- Stinky was trying to fend off an obviously hungry, post-hibernation, bear that was being teased by a tasty young squeaking prey animal running laps right in its face.
Now, I'm a very calm person in emergencies when it involves humans, even in life threatening situations. I have references. But, when it comes to my family pets, I totally lose my shit and freak out. I have references for that, too. So, all of the dog training I have learned and have taught went out my brain, and I started screaming at Bunkey to come, and started chasing her. I even threw a stick at her trying to get her to stop running. Of course, there was no way she would come to me under those conditions. The more I chased, the more she ran laps, the more Stinky barked at the bear, and the more time the bear was rewarded by eating the garbage. The scene was an excerpt from a Peter Sellers' movie.
At least five full minutes went by, I'm not kidding, before my calm husband the hero (he has references, too) came to the rescue. (He had, uh, been indisposed in the salle de bain during event and pulled up his pants in a rush when he heard the elevated level of screaming.) He walked out onto the porch shaking the special dog cookie jar, and Stinky and Carly (who had, early on, chosen prudence as the better part of valor and was hiding under the coffee table) came running to him. Seeing the big dogs' interest in the cookies, Bunkey came in the house, too. Shwew!
OK, the dogs were secure, but what about the bear in the garbage cans? Jim got in the car and drove, with Stinky inside, down the driveway. I grabbed my walking stick (I'm sure the bear was intimated by a hollow aluminum pole) and started yelling, "Go away, Bear!" (I saw that on the Animal Planet.) Finally impressed by the honking car, barking dog, yelling man, and insane woman, the bear grabbed one of garbage bags and dragged it across the road into the woods. We continued to yell and pitch a fit until the bear gave up, walked up the hill about 100 yards and recrossed the road into the woods behind our house, sans garbage.
We heard it rustling around for a few more minutes on the hill until it evidently left the immediate vicinity. Jim went and picked up the garbage that had been dragged into the woods across the road while Stinky and I stayed on our posts as lookouts. The garbage truck showed up just as Jim was cramming the last remnants in the can. The garbage man, a lifelong Vermonter, was very impressed by our bear encounter. He had never seen one, ever, and had never heard of a bear stealing garbage in broad daylight in front of people. Oh, great! We were the lucky ones to have Arlington, Vermont's, first non-fearful bear on OUR property! Lucky us.
Anyway, this story is about STINKY the Wonder Dog, not about the bear. Our Stinky can do no wrong! After the garbage man left, Stinky patrolled our property perimeter. Her posture and gait were stiff, her coat was all puffed up -- she was on full alert. She returned after her circuit and proudly announced that the coast (so to speak) was clear. Bear Gone! Evicted from our house, thanks to Stinky!
So, if Stinky nips and snarls at the puppy a little for trying to steal her toy, that's OK with me, because she's our savior! Stinky has been really depressed since the arrival of LTD Edition Bunkey's the Ticket, Miss Personality, Miss Perfect Breeding, Mommy's little Prima Donna. But today after the bear encounter, Stinky is no longer depressed. She now knows her place in our family as the Protector of Us All. Her attitude has improved one hundred percent, she's very happy.
By the way, no more sightings of the bear, thanks I'm sure, to Stinky's regular perimeter patrols and ferocious barking while on the job.
Happy trails to you from Summer Hill!
June 15, 2008
Written after our winter trip to Florida, the year we picked up our long-awaited LTD Edition Bunkey’s the Ticket puppy.
It was great to get home to Vermont. It was a really long trip, for everyone, although it was wonderful seeing our family along the way, and especially great having Flo with us.
The weather is SO-O-O nice here for us and our dogs. They never overheat, and are running and swimming to their hearts' content. Yes, the family is happy together once again. The dogs run loose in the yard at the same time, with no dangerous conflicts between each other. I think it was mainly Bunkey (our new puppy) who made peace by deciding to stay away from Stinky's space. Bunkey's been getting smart lately. She still sucks up to Carly a lot, but she's pretty careful not to get in Stinky's face. It's not entirely perfect, because now that Stinky has given Bunkey an inch, Bunkey continually tries to take a mile. Yesterday, Miss Personality tried to take Stinky's toy directly out of Stinky's mouth. Not a good idea. But, the good news is that, instead of killing Bunkey, Stinky nipped her on her nose. It was the perfect lesson. Enough pain to get B's attention, with no blood. I was really proud of Stinky.
I have another story to relate about Stinky, involving a BEAR!
Yesterday, I was in our yard watching Bunkey swim in the pond, and Stinky took off toward the road (about 100 yards away -- we live on a quiet, deadend, unpaved mountain road), barking like a fiend. I assumed she was attacking one of the neighbors who was innocently walking her dog, and called Stinky off. Stinky wouldn't come back to me, instead she intensified her barking. So, I squinted toward the road to see what was up. I had just moments before taken our bulging garbage cans to the end of the driveway in anticipation of the garbage truck, and I saw a large black dog head poking into one of the cans. ... No, wait a minute! That's not a dog, it's too big -- that must be a wolf! No -- my gawd -- that's a BEAR! A BEAR! In my garbage can, actively eating stale catfood (extremely reinforcing for the bear).
OK, you must try to picture the scene: Stinky was only ten feet away from the bear, bravely barking her head off! Our four month old dumbass puppy was running loose. I was screaming for Stinky to come, worried that she might get into a life threatening altercation with the 200-pound Ursus. All that barking and screaming caused the puppy to go berserk! Bunkey thought, Something really exciting must be up! So she grabbed her SQUEAKY toy, and started running laps around the yard. No kidding, she was right: something was definitely up -- Stinky was trying to fend off an obviously hungry, post-hibernation, bear that was being teased by a tasty young squeaking prey animal running laps right in its face.
Now, I'm a very calm person in emergencies when it involves humans, even in life threatening situations. I have references. But, when it comes to my family pets, I totally lose my shit and freak out. I have references for that, too. So, all of the dog training I have learned and have taught went out my brain, and I started screaming at Bunkey to come, and started chasing her. I even threw a stick at her trying to get her to stop running. Of course, there was no way she would come to me under those conditions. The more I chased, the more she ran laps, the more Stinky barked at the bear, and the more time the bear was rewarded by eating the garbage. The scene was an excerpt from a Peter Sellers' movie.
At least five full minutes went by, I'm not kidding, before my calm husband the hero (he has references, too) came to the rescue. (He had, uh, been indisposed in the salle de bain during event and pulled up his pants in a rush when he heard the elevated level of screaming.) He walked out onto the porch shaking the special dog cookie jar, and Stinky and Carly (who had, early on, chosen prudence as the better part of valor and was hiding under the coffee table) came running to him. Seeing the big dogs' interest in the cookies, Bunkey came in the house, too. Shwew!
OK, the dogs were secure, but what about the bear in the garbage cans? Jim got in the car and drove, with Stinky inside, down the driveway. I grabbed my walking stick (I'm sure the bear was intimated by a hollow aluminum pole) and started yelling, "Go away, Bear!" (I saw that on the Animal Planet.) Finally impressed by the honking car, barking dog, yelling man, and insane woman, the bear grabbed one of garbage bags and dragged it across the road into the woods. We continued to yell and pitch a fit until the bear gave up, walked up the hill about 100 yards and recrossed the road into the woods behind our house, sans garbage.
We heard it rustling around for a few more minutes on the hill until it evidently left the immediate vicinity. Jim went and picked up the garbage that had been dragged into the woods across the road while Stinky and I stayed on our posts as lookouts. The garbage truck showed up just as Jim was cramming the last remnants in the can. The garbage man, a lifelong Vermonter, was very impressed by our bear encounter. He had never seen one, ever, and had never heard of a bear stealing garbage in broad daylight in front of people. Oh, great! We were the lucky ones to have Arlington, Vermont's, first non-fearful bear on OUR property! Lucky us.
Anyway, this story is about STINKY the Wonder Dog, not about the bear. Our Stinky can do no wrong! After the garbage man left, Stinky patrolled our property perimeter. Her posture and gait were stiff, her coat was all puffed up -- she was on full alert. She returned after her circuit and proudly announced that the coast (so to speak) was clear. Bear Gone! Evicted from our house, thanks to Stinky!
So, if Stinky nips and snarls at the puppy a little for trying to steal her toy, that's OK with me, because she's our savior! Stinky has been really depressed since the arrival of LTD Edition Bunkey's the Ticket, Miss Personality, Miss Perfect Breeding, Mommy's little Prima Donna. But today after the bear encounter, Stinky is no longer depressed. She now knows her place in our family as the Protector of Us All. Her attitude has improved one hundred percent, she's very happy.
By the way, no more sightings of the bear, thanks I'm sure, to Stinky's regular perimeter patrols and ferocious barking while on the job.
Happy trails to you from Summer Hill!
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